47 ~~Happy Easter!~~

Happy Easter!! 

We went to church with the bestie and fam. Now church has 3 sections of seats. And for some unknown reason (it’s not a rule) the young men in our youth group sit on the front row, my son included. Now it’s an amazingly wonderful site to see these (mostly) big strapping boys during worship. This Sunday was Easter and yes it’s usually the sermon of the crucifixion and Jesus rising front the tomb and all that goes with it. (Our youth drama team did an awesome skit )

Youth drama skit

 This Easter our pastor, Pastor Bobby preached about the guys who died with Jesus that day. It was a way of looking at it differently. (I’m not even going to try to explain it because I wouldn’t do it nearly as good as he did. You can find a video of it on Facebook under River Point church…) Ironically if you go watch the video you will be able to actually see what I’m talking about as the most moving part of the day for me….

Anyway, this sermon touched my heart and it apparently touched all our boys who sit on the first row… Pastor Bobby usually does an invitation at the end (just like every other church) but he also invites those of us who like to get prayer to come at that… well Sunday he really touched these young men, because as soon as he invited anyone to step up for prayer, they stepped up. That’s right…every single one of those young men as a group took a step forward for prayer that day! It made me tear up..not gonna lie. I myself had just looked up to make my way up front myself (because hey I ALWAYS can use extra prayers) when I saw these guys do this. So instead of going to get extra prayers for myself, I stepped up behind the boys and prayed with them and for them and thanked God for giving us these amazing kids. Got to admit, by the time Pastor Bobby was done, most of the church was at the front. It was wonderful. I sit here now wishing I had a picture of all the boys doing this, but realize that if I had had my phone out to have gotten it I most likely would have missed the moment. I don’t know for sure who said it the first time, but there is a quote out there in the world that says,” The most important part of life isn’t the day you were born or died, but the dash…the life you lead in between.” Life is those “moments” you get, like I got watching 10  young men of our youth group all get an “ah ha moment” at the same time. I’m sure if you talked to each of them, they would tell you different reasons they each stepped up. That they all got something different….or maybe not ‘different ‘ so much as an individual idea of what Pastor Bobby was getting at and trying to bring to them, all of us, that day.

Hope everyone had a Happy Easter! 

Easter 2017 (Bestie, fam, and kiddo)

Kiddo and I

Bestie and her kiddo

Bestie and her fam

Awesome youth pastor and his family

Bestie and I after church

Love and prayers and blessings, 

P.S. Sorry this is a few days late, but it was set to publish and didn’t. My fault.

46

So thought I would share a ha ha funny take with y’all today…

For the last couple of day I’ve been having issues with little black and white spiders on my back porch. Now this being said I generally try to leave spiders alone because the get other bugs… ya know so long as they leave me alone I leave them alone… 

Well…. these were NOT leaving me alone. Lol I’d find any where from 3 to 4 every single time I would come outside and the all seemed to be close to or on Me! I can NOT stand to have any kind of bugs on me, but especially not spiders! Hey..it’s a healthy fear… 

Anyway, the bug guy came by and between me and him we got the situation settled. No more creepy little spiders or two or three showers a day cause I felt like they were crawling on me..lol 

So sister- mine and I ran a few errands this morning and decided to stop and grab some Taco Hell(Bell) for lunch. As we are sitting there eating and talking a lady from a table across from us speaks up. “I don’t want to alarm y’all, but there is a spider about to drop down on y’all’ s feet from the bottom of y’all’ s table.” 

I seriously almost jumped the table…or well, that’s what my brain was telling me to do… but y’all,  I slap froze in dear! Lol like seriously!  I was like great now they are following me and are bigger! Lol Thankfully sister- mine killed it. Lol The lady that warned us was like “well, you handled that better than I would have.” 

So I told her, “well in my head I was screaming and freaking out lol but was trying not to do all that in public.” Everyone got a good laugh. Needless to say I are the rest of my lunch with my feet criss cross Apple sauce style til we left. Hey! I was wearing flip flops and was still a little worried lol. 

Anyway, had a great morning with my sister- mine and am worn slap out now. Going relax a little now…spider free! Lol

Y’all have a great day! 

Love and prayers and blessings, 

Thankful for my spider killing sister!😉

Side note…learned that I can’t eat as much taco help as I used too… so win!

Day 44~~

I’m back once again!! 

We are alive and well here in our little world. I finally have a new phone and am able to post again. Not completely sure what was wrong with my phone but hey the way my life is going… if I didn’t have had luck, I would have no luck at all! Lol

So, I shared my story of getting hurt and most of you have seen my other blogs about the struggle my life has been since then… Not just my life but mine and my son’s. There are a few people who without I know we wouldn’t have gotten this far without. Sister-mine is one of the main ones!! She’s also the one who encouraged this blog and set it up for me. She also encouraged me to try to keep doing things I like. Like reading.   

Hi, my name is Sammie and I’m addicted to books! (Now everyone says together, “Hi Sammie”) lol

Like seriously addicted to reading. I LOVE reading a book,smelling the pages, flipping the pages, and getting lost within those pages. Now as you might imagine, it is now VERY hard for me to hold a real book these days. So I got on my trusty kindle app and started looking for free books to down load. Found ALL kinds of ways to get free ebooks. And they are great. Then I found kindle unlimited. It’s totally worth the monthly fee with as many books as I read. Very rarely can I not find the book I’m looking for on there. I’ve literally been able to read so author’s every book. 

That being said, it’s also gotten me to thinking a lot about all the stories I’ve had floating through my own head. See when sister mine and I were MUCH younger I wanted to write. Hell, I even started and almost got a whole book written with her help. But life has a way of getting in the way of things you think of as pipe dreams. So it fell to the side. 

While having my bestie help me fill out the ongoing paperwork for disability I realized there isn’t anything standing in my way now. Yes I will have to hunt and peck with one hand to get it done, but that’s truly the only thing standing in my way. Granted my only other problem will be that my brain tends to go faster than my fingers will be able to, but I’m sure I will eventually find away around that! (Maybe there is a speech to type something for a laptop) And seriously the only person who ever reads it may only be me.. ( or sister- mine. I can usually talk her into doing stuff like that) We will see…it’s a thought of something that will help take my mind off of the huge amounts of time I now seem to have in my life…. At any rate, I will keep y’all posted! 

Love and prayers and blessings,

Day 43~~

One year and a day ago I tripped over the edge of a rug…..and it forever changed my world. I didn’t know it at the time just how much, but it did. Completely. All I knew at the time was my head bounced of the floor and felt like my right arm had been ripped off… But it was still attached. Just not like it was supposed to be. In the process of walking out of a door, I tripped over the edge of a rug. I know this only because I remember seeing the rug as I was laying on it…screaming in pain. It happened so fast that my brain could process fast enough for my hand to let go of the door that was opening the opposite direction from which I was falling; causing my right arm to become completely dislocated and falling into my arm pit. Thing is because of how it came out and fell down into my arm pit it didn’t look like a normal dislocation. Most pop out to the front, back or side and you can see the difference. Mine… You couldn’t tell. The ENTs couldn’t figure it out…thought maybe I ripped my muscle or something. It wasn’t until a few hours later, as they were finally doing an x-ray because my right hand was completely swollen, turning blue and had no feeling in it any more. They didn’t even bother taking more x-rays,  as the tech started calling the dr loudly to the room I was in to come quickly. The top bone of my right arm had fallen into my arm pit and landed just so…it was on top of the nerve bundle and main artery for my right arm…had been for several hours by this point. 

At this point I didn’t know the state of my hand. I was in so much pain I was begging to be knocked out. We are talking child birth pain… I don’t remember being cut out of my sweater. I don’t remember crying and begging to be knocked out. These were things I was told later. I don’t remember begging my friend that drove my jeep and son to the hospital to punch my in the face and knock me out.I don’t remember begging my son to do the same. I don’t remember the tears others, my loved ones and friends cried for me because I was hurting so much. I remember the pain. I remember feeling like if I moved my left hand off my right arm that my right arm would fall completely off. I remember the pain. They finally did knock my out to put my arm back where it should be. I remember coming to and not being able to feel my right hand or move my right arm, which at this point was strapped to my body. 

It was a hard night. I now live with pain. Always. And not ever being able to find a completely comfortable position to be in. I live every day with the fact that I am no longer right handed because my right hand still barely moves. Unless I am going through muscle spasms and then all I can do is try to breath through the pain and wait for it to be done. 

It completely changed my life. I can’t work still and am having to rely on help. For a LOT of stuff. I get excited about small things now….like being able to raise my right arm above my head. I cried the first time I was able to shower by myself…then cried again because it took so much out of me I couldn’t get dressed by myself. I cried when I had to call my daddy and tell him what happened and ask for money to pay my bills. I cried because I could do something as simple as feed myself without making a huge mess because I was having to learn to do so with my left hand. I cried when my amazing little sister stepped up in a huge way to help me get through. I cried watching my son stepping up to help me cook and try to tell me not to get frustrated ; that we would make it through this together. I cried when the next month my daddy sent me more money for bills and asked how I was and what the doctors where saying. 

I’ve had WAY too much time on my hands to think….about every thing. 

My sister helped me set up this blog so I could have an outlet a connection to the world..all on my phone. There are things I will never be able to do again. Things I put off trying because I was trying so hard to do it on my own that I didn’t make time for. Now I wish I had made that time. It’s hard at 36 to have to relearn how to do things that I had known how to do for years.  I do nothing quick or easy any more because even easy things are hard for me. But I keep going. I will continue to keep going. I don’t cry as much..(there are still tears just not as much) and I don’t hide as much. Being in public is still hard….feeling like people are looking at how weird my hand looks now and feeling self cautious about eating in public. (I’m still messier than I am confortable with.) I’m self cautious aboyt what I order in public, because I know that if I pick something that has to be cut I can’t do it on my own.I struggle with cleaning my house on my own…I still try and still have help. I try to hang up all the clothes I own because it’s hard to fold stuff…it either stays inthe basket/dryer til I need it or I hang it. I have a pair of boots I may never wear again….because the last time I had them on my whole world got changed in one little moment of time. I enjoy the simple things more. Like sitting outside in my chair and hearing a little child singing silly songs out in the sunshine.(or pitching a fit and pouting because they had to go inside) I’m learning out to live as this me. I cry and pray and keep going because it’s the only thing I can do now. Just keep going….

Love and prayers and blessings

Day 41

Well, no snow….but Lots of ice. The boys were disappointed but they survived by watching movies, playing video games,  and sleeping. We caught them sleeping with the tv still going on a loud game.

They told me I was creepy cause I took pictures of them while asleep. Lol not knowing I took it for being able to post here. Lol 

Ice on the steps…

Driveway

You will NEVER guess what this is…

Seriously!  You won’t guess what is under the blanket!  All the dogs are in the house, but none are under blankets. But since it’s 20ish degrees outside ALL the family pets are in the house.

Yes. That’s a pig!

That’s Arnold. Better known as “Fat Pig”. He usually sleeps outside on the front porch. Cause that’s where his little house is and he’s just a big baby. Lol sometimes he thinks he’s a dog. He love fresh fruit and veggies and can drink sweet tea out of a cup…our well he could before he got SO big. 

I’m now watching Lockup and settling in for the night. Hopefully I will get some sleep….hopefully. I was up all night last night. So fingers crossed I will get some sleep.

Love and prayers and blessings!


PS. Y’all stay warm out there!!

Day 40

Happy New Year!! 

I hope everyone has had a good Christmas and new year. Mine was..alright. I got to have my kiddo for all of Christmas for once. It was different. We put up a tree. He didn’t get up until almost 12. Lol and he only woke up then because I woke him up. My sister mine and brother in law came over for lunch and we had a great time! Lol I of course totally forgot to take pictures! Lol We watched the kiddo open his few 🎁 presents I could get him and talked and laughed and just enjoyed our time together. 

Normally we would have then gone to a family friends house but sadly one was still in the hospital after a very bad wreck he had been in earlier in the month. Thankfully he is doing much better now. He’s currently asleep in the chair next to me as I type. There are 4, yes 4 teenage boys in the next room having a blast with the fact that they have a snow day tomorrow and are out of school for a long weekend. Me…. I’m sitting here not able to sleep. Which is actually nothing new for me. We (me and the kiddo) figured if we had to be snowed in somewhere here is better than our house. Lol if we do get snow there are hills here. Hopefully I will have pictures to post of them beibg goofy kids they actually are. (They almost all look like grown men.) At this time I’m pretty sure they are asleep, since all I’m hearing now is the tv. But it’s been great listening to them mess around, joking and laughing and having fun hanging out together. 

My current situation. Yes I am watching NCIS on my laptop instead of the big screen.

I’m catching up to be current of the season. (The CBS app is AWESOME!) 

Anway, I haven’t made much progress with my right hand, but can almost lift my arm up completely straight up!  (That’s big for me!) And for the first time in FOREVER I came touch my thumb to my finger!! Not completely but close! 

Hurts like hell! But I can do it!!

I’ve had a lot on my mind these days, but haven’t been ready to put them all into words. Hopefully this will change soon and I will have more to come.  

Anyway, 

Love and prayers and blessings! 

All of us cramped into the back of Daddy’s truck when they came to see us after Thanksgiving!

Me trying to take a picture of us! Lol

Daddy mine and Santa 🎅

Me and child of mine that ain’t mine at Wally world on Tuesday night! (Before all the bad incoming weather.)

39

Dear Momma, 

As of tomorrow night, you’ve been gone 15years. I miss you more than I have the words to explain. Your grandson is AMAZING! I pray every day to be even half the mom to him that you were to me. Ya kbow growning up I always wanted to be a mom and always thought I would have you here to go through this with. God needed you more than we did I guess. I hate that your grandson didn’t get to know you in person. He does know you from pictures and memories shared. You’d be proud of our handsome boy…I guess his daddy and I have done pretty good with him so far. He is a great kid. I see you in him sometimes and it takes my breath away. I wish you were here to tell you how sorry I am for all the crap I put you through growing up. I understand now more than ever how hard it must have been. I wish you were here for me to hug and love on one more time…to hear you say I love you princess just once more. You would think that after 15 years it wouldn’t hurt this much but it does. Momma I don’t know how you did it…. You were amazing and would have been an even more amazing Meemaw. That’s what he calls you btw…just like you always wanted. He has grown up knowing that you were the most excited about him being born and that you loved him so very much from day 1. There are days when all I want to do is call you….to talking about everything going on and life and how to deal with it. There are good days and bad but I still miss you every day and still wish you were here.

I picture you in Heaven, singing in the chior. I hope that even though you are gone, you get to look down and see our boy! I hope that you know that I see things clearer now and that I know when and where I screwed up and that I’m sorry. Know that I’m trying to raise my son the way you raised me and that I’m greatful for God giving you to me as my momma. 

I love you still! Missing you always!!

Day 38….or close enough..

So….for those of y’all that don’t know….it’s been a REALLY big day in Alabama today! (Besides being Shop Small Saturday) .

Iron Bowl Day!! 

Had fun watching the game!!

On the off chance y’all didn’t already know who I liked)

It was fun watching the game with mostly Auburn fans.


Slow start, but they got it better in the end! Hope y’all enjoyed y’all’s day!! I did! 

Now I am going to try to stay awake til like 8pm, cause I’m tired! Lol..

Love and prayers and blessings! 


P.S. I even managed to buy a very few small Christmas presents!  

Day 36

As y’all know I’ve been going through a lot lately. Still am. But y’all,  today has been so amazing. I’ve been reminded today just how loved my son and I am loved. 

I didn’t get a picture with my sister mine today, but we did get to have a little family Thanksgiving before brother mine had to go to work. It was great. And I managed to get a 15lb turkey safeky in the oven all by myself…one handed! I was so excited!! 

Turned out great!! 

Then we came to my “other family’s ” house! It was so wonderful!  Just being with these people! 

Back porch talking

Love these boys! Even if they don’t always smile!

Never to big to sit in momma’s lap!

Blessed to have Uncle Roger still with us!

Our very own Santa lol aka Pop!

Even the boys joined in our talking!

Gotta have pie!!

Three of my favorites!

Even managed to get a picture with big D

No matter what’s going on in your life take the time to enjoy your loved ones…even if you don’t share all the same blood! 

Now I’m trying to patiently waiting for the new Gilmore Girls!! 

Love and prayers and blessings! 

Day…..34?!?

There comes a point in some people’s lives where there they hit a wall…a blocked path of their life. I know this first hand….am deaki g with it in my life now. I have recently turned 36 and I feel more lost in my life now than I did when I was a lost teenager who thought she knew everything and didn’t. Due to an unforeseen injury my life that I had made for myself and my son has been torn up…changed in a way I never thought of. I am more dependent on people now than I ever thought I’d have to be again…and it’s messing with my sense of who I am and where my future is going. It’s hard. So very hard to be lost in the world and not being able to see the future. It’s scary. Really scary. Not going to lie….lol it’s too hard or maybe I’m too lazy to lie. I am blessed with a father who is going out of his way to help us..simply because we are his and he loves us. It’s still a struggle and I’m still fighting…every day. Eventually I will see the plan…see where and how to make it work again. Til then….never give up.



Don’t forget to tell those who are standing with you Thank you!!

Thank you Daddy&Mom, CJ, LeaAnn&Josh, Katina&Daniel, Jacob, Paula&Richard, Roger, and Randy. 

Love and blessings and prayers!!