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Dear Momma, 

As of tomorrow night, you’ve been gone 15years. I miss you more than I have the words to explain. Your grandson is AMAZING! I pray every day to be even half the mom to him that you were to me. Ya kbow growning up I always wanted to be a mom and always thought I would have you here to go through this with. God needed you more than we did I guess. I hate that your grandson didn’t get to know you in person. He does know you from pictures and memories shared. You’d be proud of our handsome boy…I guess his daddy and I have done pretty good with him so far. He is a great kid. I see you in him sometimes and it takes my breath away. I wish you were here to tell you how sorry I am for all the crap I put you through growing up. I understand now more than ever how hard it must have been. I wish you were here for me to hug and love on one more time…to hear you say I love you princess just once more. You would think that after 15 years it wouldn’t hurt this much but it does. Momma I don’t know how you did it…. You were amazing and would have been an even more amazing Meemaw. That’s what he calls you btw…just like you always wanted. He has grown up knowing that you were the most excited about him being born and that you loved him so very much from day 1. There are days when all I want to do is call you….to talking about everything going on and life and how to deal with it. There are good days and bad but I still miss you every day and still wish you were here.

I picture you in Heaven, singing in the chior. I hope that even though you are gone, you get to look down and see our boy! I hope that you know that I see things clearer now and that I know when and where I screwed up and that I’m sorry. Know that I’m trying to raise my son the way you raised me and that I’m greatful for God giving you to me as my momma. 

I love you still! Missing you always!!

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